Along with parenthood and all of the firsts, accomplishments in sports, cutesy words and funny things kids do comes the world of “Discipline.” We might always think and sometimes say, “My kids will never do that!” These are like curse words for a pre-parent! I have always tried to be careful when saying what kind of parent I will be and what my kids will and will not do, because the reality is: I don’t know. I don’t know what kind of influences my children will have when they become of age to be influenced by others, I don’t know how rebellious of a heart they will have at any given age, and I don’t know what I will do under any given circumstance. What I do know, is that as long as God imparts wisdom in my heart while raising my children, then I will always discipline in the way He wants me to. The Bible says in Proverbs 13:24, “Spare the rod, spoil the child,” and I live daily by this scripture. However, as my children have grown, the rod of correction doesn’t always work with any punishment. Therefore, Shane and I have had to find what form of discipline gets them “where it hurts,” and not be shy to use the rod of correction when it is needed as well.
Connie, being our first child, seems to understand that when we speak to her with words of correction, that we are not just speaking meaningless words. Most of the time, she will adhere to what we are telling her and is very obedient just by our words. Of course, she isn’t perfect in her obedience. We began disciplining her as soon as she knew what a hairbrush was used for. My grandfather, who is an anointed man of God, preaches that a child has a foundation of understanding when they take a brush to their head instead of their mouth. Connie learned this concept around 6 months of age, which is when “pops” on the hand, which soon led to “pops” on her bottom, began. She didn’t need too much of this traditional way of discipline before she learned to listen and do what she was being told. Now that she is 9 years old, we have found what form of discipline really gets her where it hurts, and that is grounding her from picking out her clothes.
Recently, I have had a difficult time waking her up for school in the mornings. I decided to start telling her, “If you don’t get up and I have to come down here to wake you up again, then I will pick out your clothes.” WOW has this worked out in my favor! I have picked out her clothes for about two mornings since I’ve tried this strategy and it enables me to choose clothes that I know she doesn’t like, but I think they are adorable. Do you see my strategy? This gets to her heart, because she has to go to school and face her “cool” friends in cute clothes that she wouldn’t want to be caught wearing if it paid a million bucks!!
Speaking of money, she also is a big saver. She likes to save her money for things that she has had on her wish list and can’t seem to wait until Christmas to get. Therefore, we have used this in our favor as well, in that this is another form of discipline that gets to Connie’s heart. Shortly after school started this year, Connie just couldn’t seem to remember to pack her leotard for gymnastics, even after we reminded her the night before and the morning of. After so many times of her forgetfulness, we decided to help her understand that if we had to drive all the way back home, then all the way back to the gym for a leotard that was her responsibility to remember, then she was going to give us some of her money. I suggested that she give us a couple of dollars, but Shane knew this wouldn’t hurt her, because she had quite a bit of money saved up. So, we took $20….but, we told her that she could have it back if she could start remembering her leotard. Of course, she worked to get that money back…AND my goodness we don’t leave home without the leotard!!
Although Connie requires what seems to be an “easy discipline,” Carsey and Canaan are much different. I will expound on how they require various types of punishment in my next blog. Raising children is a learning experience that we can read about, study, and take advice on, but what seems to work for one child and one family may be very different from others. However, as long as God goes before us and we allow Him to show us how to raise our children, then they are sure to grow up and not depart it (Proverbs 22:6).
Connie, being our first child, seems to understand that when we speak to her with words of correction, that we are not just speaking meaningless words. Most of the time, she will adhere to what we are telling her and is very obedient just by our words. Of course, she isn’t perfect in her obedience. We began disciplining her as soon as she knew what a hairbrush was used for. My grandfather, who is an anointed man of God, preaches that a child has a foundation of understanding when they take a brush to their head instead of their mouth. Connie learned this concept around 6 months of age, which is when “pops” on the hand, which soon led to “pops” on her bottom, began. She didn’t need too much of this traditional way of discipline before she learned to listen and do what she was being told. Now that she is 9 years old, we have found what form of discipline really gets her where it hurts, and that is grounding her from picking out her clothes.
Recently, I have had a difficult time waking her up for school in the mornings. I decided to start telling her, “If you don’t get up and I have to come down here to wake you up again, then I will pick out your clothes.” WOW has this worked out in my favor! I have picked out her clothes for about two mornings since I’ve tried this strategy and it enables me to choose clothes that I know she doesn’t like, but I think they are adorable. Do you see my strategy? This gets to her heart, because she has to go to school and face her “cool” friends in cute clothes that she wouldn’t want to be caught wearing if it paid a million bucks!!
Speaking of money, she also is a big saver. She likes to save her money for things that she has had on her wish list and can’t seem to wait until Christmas to get. Therefore, we have used this in our favor as well, in that this is another form of discipline that gets to Connie’s heart. Shortly after school started this year, Connie just couldn’t seem to remember to pack her leotard for gymnastics, even after we reminded her the night before and the morning of. After so many times of her forgetfulness, we decided to help her understand that if we had to drive all the way back home, then all the way back to the gym for a leotard that was her responsibility to remember, then she was going to give us some of her money. I suggested that she give us a couple of dollars, but Shane knew this wouldn’t hurt her, because she had quite a bit of money saved up. So, we took $20….but, we told her that she could have it back if she could start remembering her leotard. Of course, she worked to get that money back…AND my goodness we don’t leave home without the leotard!!
Although Connie requires what seems to be an “easy discipline,” Carsey and Canaan are much different. I will expound on how they require various types of punishment in my next blog. Raising children is a learning experience that we can read about, study, and take advice on, but what seems to work for one child and one family may be very different from others. However, as long as God goes before us and we allow Him to show us how to raise our children, then they are sure to grow up and not depart it (Proverbs 22:6).