These pictures are from a slumber party the girls had with some church friends. For months they have begged me to let them have some girls over, so I finally gave in. For a couple of weeks before the sleepover, I used it as a tool for punishment: "If this is how you're going to act, then we can just call off the party!" OR "If you can't keep your room more clean than this, then I'm certainly not going to allow four more girls to come over and play!" As parents, we find ourselves saying these things because it is a bribe method. You may say, I don't bribe my kids...but really we do, it just happens in various forms.
The sleepover ended up going extremely well, and I was so proud of my girls for making sure our house wasn't in shambles. They just don't naturally take pride in our home, thier room, or their toys...it is taught to them from birth. One way we teach this lesson is instilling gratefulness and thanksgiving in them for the things they have. If our children have to work for the toys they enjoy, clean up after their obseen messes, or give us thier money because they have destroyed something in the house, then they will come to appreciate what they are given and they will certainly grow to appreciate the teaching that is instilled in them by us, the parents.
It NEVER fails that each time we go to town, even if we are just going for groceries, my kids will each find something that's not on the list they MUST have. Nine times out of ten, I say, "No." However, there are those times that I give in to them...but it comes with a price tag: I tell them they must do something in the house to earn whatever it is that I'm buying for them. Most of the time, our "go to chores" are unloading/loading the dishwasher or folding the clothes (with a family of 5, these common household chores tend to pile up, so any little help counts). Before I was out of work, the girls had a weekly chore list that they completed and each task was worth a certain amount of money. They had the choice if they wanted to complete it or not, but at the end of the week Shane and I would tally up thier work and give them their earnings. Once Carsey started seeing how much money Connie was making, she was encouraged to get more tally marks on that list! This worked well, because they began to understand the value of a dollar and started saving up for different things. Once they had enough, I would take them to the store and they would get whatever thier money would buy (and usually spend every bit of it). This is a common method, as I too had a chore list as a child, but I believe either way of teaching them the importance of working for what they have will help them be better stewards of thier money as they grow older.
Earlier I mentioned that kids learn to appreciate and take pride in what they have when they are made to clean up thier "obseen" messes. We have had to teach this value to our little Carsey more than our other two. I remember when I once bought a beautiful ladybug comforter for Carsey's bedroom and just about a year after I bought it, she took a blue marker and colored ALL OVER IT!! Instead of traditional forms of punishment, Shane and I made her sit in the middle of the kitchen with soap and water and scrub that comforter with her little bitty hands until the blue was, for the most part, completely gone. This method was perfect for her, because for some reason Carsey tends to be more messy than the other children (not sure who she gets that from, honestly) and it taught her that she can't ruin something, throw it away, and be done with it. She learned that if she chooses to ruin something, she will labor to try and fix it before it's just done away with. We were able to save her comforter, and needless to say--her problem of coloring on anything other than paper, was resolved that day.
I've said all of this to conclude with these last few statements: We don't have our home, cars, home furnishings, clothes, and other luxuries just handed down to us. Maybe some of these things are given to us, but for the most part we have to work for them. Absolutely, there are things I wish I had in my childhood that I indeed try to give my children; but if I GIVE them everything, what is that teaching them as they enter into adulthood. The Bible mentions in 2 Thessalonians 3:1 0 as well as Proverbs 12:11 that laborers will have food to eat. The meaning of these verses is that if we work, then we deserve to eat. Teaching your children to work for what they have is imparting the spirit of "labor for a cause" instead of "laziness for a handout."
In every piece of parenting, there are biblical standards that we should allow to guide our thoughts and behaviors while raising children in this generation. Thanks for reading and don't forget to check out our YouTube channel for snip clips of our, sometimes comical, lives.
The sleepover ended up going extremely well, and I was so proud of my girls for making sure our house wasn't in shambles. They just don't naturally take pride in our home, thier room, or their toys...it is taught to them from birth. One way we teach this lesson is instilling gratefulness and thanksgiving in them for the things they have. If our children have to work for the toys they enjoy, clean up after their obseen messes, or give us thier money because they have destroyed something in the house, then they will come to appreciate what they are given and they will certainly grow to appreciate the teaching that is instilled in them by us, the parents.
It NEVER fails that each time we go to town, even if we are just going for groceries, my kids will each find something that's not on the list they MUST have. Nine times out of ten, I say, "No." However, there are those times that I give in to them...but it comes with a price tag: I tell them they must do something in the house to earn whatever it is that I'm buying for them. Most of the time, our "go to chores" are unloading/loading the dishwasher or folding the clothes (with a family of 5, these common household chores tend to pile up, so any little help counts). Before I was out of work, the girls had a weekly chore list that they completed and each task was worth a certain amount of money. They had the choice if they wanted to complete it or not, but at the end of the week Shane and I would tally up thier work and give them their earnings. Once Carsey started seeing how much money Connie was making, she was encouraged to get more tally marks on that list! This worked well, because they began to understand the value of a dollar and started saving up for different things. Once they had enough, I would take them to the store and they would get whatever thier money would buy (and usually spend every bit of it). This is a common method, as I too had a chore list as a child, but I believe either way of teaching them the importance of working for what they have will help them be better stewards of thier money as they grow older.
Earlier I mentioned that kids learn to appreciate and take pride in what they have when they are made to clean up thier "obseen" messes. We have had to teach this value to our little Carsey more than our other two. I remember when I once bought a beautiful ladybug comforter for Carsey's bedroom and just about a year after I bought it, she took a blue marker and colored ALL OVER IT!! Instead of traditional forms of punishment, Shane and I made her sit in the middle of the kitchen with soap and water and scrub that comforter with her little bitty hands until the blue was, for the most part, completely gone. This method was perfect for her, because for some reason Carsey tends to be more messy than the other children (not sure who she gets that from, honestly) and it taught her that she can't ruin something, throw it away, and be done with it. She learned that if she chooses to ruin something, she will labor to try and fix it before it's just done away with. We were able to save her comforter, and needless to say--her problem of coloring on anything other than paper, was resolved that day.
I've said all of this to conclude with these last few statements: We don't have our home, cars, home furnishings, clothes, and other luxuries just handed down to us. Maybe some of these things are given to us, but for the most part we have to work for them. Absolutely, there are things I wish I had in my childhood that I indeed try to give my children; but if I GIVE them everything, what is that teaching them as they enter into adulthood. The Bible mentions in 2 Thessalonians 3:1 0 as well as Proverbs 12:11 that laborers will have food to eat. The meaning of these verses is that if we work, then we deserve to eat. Teaching your children to work for what they have is imparting the spirit of "labor for a cause" instead of "laziness for a handout."
In every piece of parenting, there are biblical standards that we should allow to guide our thoughts and behaviors while raising children in this generation. Thanks for reading and don't forget to check out our YouTube channel for snip clips of our, sometimes comical, lives.