God always gives us what we need, when we need it. It is all about His timing. As I was sitting in church this morning, after I had already typed out this blog on the way to church, the usher gave a small sermon as he was about to take up offering. He read a scripture from Hebrews 12:11, and wouldn't you know that it aligned completely with the topic of this blog: "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Like I said, God always gives us what we need and we always try to align parenthood in this generation with God's word. So as you read today, remember Hebrews!!
Disciplining children can be one of the toughest battles with parenthood. In all honesty, we do not get joy from making our children suffer for what they did wrong. However, joy comes from when children know the rules without you having to remind them through discipline. You see, consistency in correcting children when they have done wrong will instill morals and a lifelong obedience in them. When children are disciplined under the authority of their parents, this is the first step in teaching them to obey God. There is going to come a day when they don’t have us parents to constantly remind them what and what not to do; that’s why we teach them. In turn, when they are independent and freely living, they learn to listen to God and obey His commands just as they obeyed us as they were growing up.
With the many personalities and love languages of children, come many forms of discipline. In my previous blog, I talked about our oldest daughter, Connie, and how the traditional form of discipline (i.e. the paddle) is not what she has always needed. To teach her a lesson, she suffers worse from either us taking her money for a while or picking out her clothes for a few days at a time. However, Carsey and Canaan aren’t quite as easy.
Our second child, Carsey, is our little mischievous one to say the least. She tends to see what all she can “get away with” before she gets in trouble. For a while, when she was a toddler up until she was school age, I felt like she got a spanking nearly everyday. We would tell her to do something as simple as, “Pick up your toys out of the living room,” and she wouldn’t do it until we had told her about a handful of times, then had to spank her with the paddle to let her know “we meant business.” Don’t we all remember our parents telling us that they meant business. We always tend to think we will never say the things our parents used to tell us, but we so quickly find ourselves resorting back to those infamous statements.
Lately, we have had trouble with Carsey putting things where they belong. For example, when she finishes playing in her room, she just wants to “cram” things under the bed, in a corner, or under her dresser. She also has been putting her folded clothes all in one drawer, when they clearly do not all belong in the same drawer. We have tried picking out her clothes as a form of discipline, as we do with Connie, but Carsey doesn’t seem to care what she wears. We have tried making her do the dishes or fold the laundry as a form of discipline, but it just isn’t clicking. However, as soon as we resort to the paddle, she starts crying before she can even get to her room good. When she gets that dreadful rod of correction, her room is top-notch and her attitude is beautiful for a “few days.” Maybe one day, as her actions continue to choose this traditional form of correction, she will realize that if she just does what she’s supposed to do, when she’s supposed to do it, then all of these days of having to hear the paddle slide off the top of the refrigerator, and hear the upset feet of her parents walking through the hall to her room will ALL go away. That day will come, and we are looking forward to it!
Our third child, Canaan, is unique as well. He is at the age where he is learning what is right and what is wrong. Taking his clothes or toys away doesn’t help him make the connection with when he breaks a rule. Therefore, we are in the stage where everything is either the paddle or the corner; and lately, the corner has not been of high value. As a matter of fact, Canaan told my grandmother recently when he had broken a rule, “Just a little spanking, Grandmother.” He knows the rules, but he also knows that if he breaks them, there will be a consequence.
Only just a few weeks ago, Canaan’s favorite character became Spiderman. As we all know, Spiderman is not the life saving super hero that never hurts anyone as he used to be. Spiderman gets in fights now and throws fist punches, still at the “bad guys,” but a 2 year old doesn’t understand that he can’t fight just any person he walks by, especially his sisters. When he first began to hit his sisters, we explained that he can only fight his stuffed animals like Spiderman. Again, this 2 year old needs reinforcement, so now every time he hurts his sisters, it’s no question—He gets a spanking. He is learning, quickly to say the least.
I am sure that Shane and I will continue to learn what works best for each of our children in reguards to discipline. The bottom line is that they have to be punished for doing wrong, and a little sweet and tender, “No baby,” just isn’t going to teach them. God expects us to obey Him, and when we don’t, there are consequences. The problem is that many times, people do not connect what’s happening to them with WHY it’s happening to them. We all have to go through discipline when we mess up, and it all starts in our childhood. So let me encourage you to discipline your children in a way that they will not want to break the rules again. Coming from the teacher side of me, you don’t want your child to be “that kid” teachers pray they don’t get in their classroom. Be a parent, and be a godly one!
Disciplining children can be one of the toughest battles with parenthood. In all honesty, we do not get joy from making our children suffer for what they did wrong. However, joy comes from when children know the rules without you having to remind them through discipline. You see, consistency in correcting children when they have done wrong will instill morals and a lifelong obedience in them. When children are disciplined under the authority of their parents, this is the first step in teaching them to obey God. There is going to come a day when they don’t have us parents to constantly remind them what and what not to do; that’s why we teach them. In turn, when they are independent and freely living, they learn to listen to God and obey His commands just as they obeyed us as they were growing up.
With the many personalities and love languages of children, come many forms of discipline. In my previous blog, I talked about our oldest daughter, Connie, and how the traditional form of discipline (i.e. the paddle) is not what she has always needed. To teach her a lesson, she suffers worse from either us taking her money for a while or picking out her clothes for a few days at a time. However, Carsey and Canaan aren’t quite as easy.
Our second child, Carsey, is our little mischievous one to say the least. She tends to see what all she can “get away with” before she gets in trouble. For a while, when she was a toddler up until she was school age, I felt like she got a spanking nearly everyday. We would tell her to do something as simple as, “Pick up your toys out of the living room,” and she wouldn’t do it until we had told her about a handful of times, then had to spank her with the paddle to let her know “we meant business.” Don’t we all remember our parents telling us that they meant business. We always tend to think we will never say the things our parents used to tell us, but we so quickly find ourselves resorting back to those infamous statements.
Lately, we have had trouble with Carsey putting things where they belong. For example, when she finishes playing in her room, she just wants to “cram” things under the bed, in a corner, or under her dresser. She also has been putting her folded clothes all in one drawer, when they clearly do not all belong in the same drawer. We have tried picking out her clothes as a form of discipline, as we do with Connie, but Carsey doesn’t seem to care what she wears. We have tried making her do the dishes or fold the laundry as a form of discipline, but it just isn’t clicking. However, as soon as we resort to the paddle, she starts crying before she can even get to her room good. When she gets that dreadful rod of correction, her room is top-notch and her attitude is beautiful for a “few days.” Maybe one day, as her actions continue to choose this traditional form of correction, she will realize that if she just does what she’s supposed to do, when she’s supposed to do it, then all of these days of having to hear the paddle slide off the top of the refrigerator, and hear the upset feet of her parents walking through the hall to her room will ALL go away. That day will come, and we are looking forward to it!
Our third child, Canaan, is unique as well. He is at the age where he is learning what is right and what is wrong. Taking his clothes or toys away doesn’t help him make the connection with when he breaks a rule. Therefore, we are in the stage where everything is either the paddle or the corner; and lately, the corner has not been of high value. As a matter of fact, Canaan told my grandmother recently when he had broken a rule, “Just a little spanking, Grandmother.” He knows the rules, but he also knows that if he breaks them, there will be a consequence.
Only just a few weeks ago, Canaan’s favorite character became Spiderman. As we all know, Spiderman is not the life saving super hero that never hurts anyone as he used to be. Spiderman gets in fights now and throws fist punches, still at the “bad guys,” but a 2 year old doesn’t understand that he can’t fight just any person he walks by, especially his sisters. When he first began to hit his sisters, we explained that he can only fight his stuffed animals like Spiderman. Again, this 2 year old needs reinforcement, so now every time he hurts his sisters, it’s no question—He gets a spanking. He is learning, quickly to say the least.
I am sure that Shane and I will continue to learn what works best for each of our children in reguards to discipline. The bottom line is that they have to be punished for doing wrong, and a little sweet and tender, “No baby,” just isn’t going to teach them. God expects us to obey Him, and when we don’t, there are consequences. The problem is that many times, people do not connect what’s happening to them with WHY it’s happening to them. We all have to go through discipline when we mess up, and it all starts in our childhood. So let me encourage you to discipline your children in a way that they will not want to break the rules again. Coming from the teacher side of me, you don’t want your child to be “that kid” teachers pray they don’t get in their classroom. Be a parent, and be a godly one!