It’s been said that no one wants to follow anyone that can’t “walk the walk”. Or Better yet, I’ve heard it said “put your money where your mouth is”. Meaning, if you can’t do what you say and say what you do then how trust worthy are you? This is a principle I have always wanted to instill in our three legacies. One principle we have always tried to teach them is integrity in everything they do. Treat everyone with respect no matter if you think they deserve it or not.
As a parent, I believe that God has given us the utmost responsibility of caring the Gospel from generation to generation through our children [whether yours or someone else’s]. It’s easy to talk a good talk and point fingers at others and say “this is what they should have done” but it only counts when rubber meets the road.
Our 3 children watch us at every move. They’re our own live in accountability system. Which can sometimes cause enormous amounts of agitation when you’ve satiated them with a half promise or a “might” or “maybe” response. We’ve all been there as parents right? There are so many times when they will ask us to take them somewhere or play this particular game (mostly monopoly from Connie or store with Carsey or a wrestling match with Canaan) and we make that promise under certain conditions. Believe me, they count on and possibly even pray for the circumstances to come to pass. I believe God grants the prayers of an innocent child's request just to watch the parents entertain their little hearts desire. God has a sense of humor… NO DOUBT ABOUT IT! I think the real kicker in raising children is when they’ve heard the instructions of doing good, treating others with respect, or turning to God during tough times- that they get to see it in action when those times hit your family.
As a kid it’s tough to see the one you look up to as superhuman get knocked down by someone else. When you’ve held your parent to a higher standard than any other person in the world- even greater than the most amazing superhero only to watch them get pummeled by another “friend”- it drastically opens your eyes as a child to see what the next move will be from your parent. After all, whatever dad or mom does is the measuring stick for success and how we’re suppose to act as future parents and adults… right? This has been one of the greatest struggles I’ve experienced as a parent.
Connie and Carsey have both been “victims” of bullying at one time or another in their short school years. It’s typically happened from a close friend too. They’ll come home in shambles over a word spoken or a series of events that’s transpired leaving them hopeless and heart broken. As the Founding Father Thomas Paine said “These are the times that try men’s souls”. There are 3 things that fathers bring to the family: provision, protection and perseverance. You can imagine the feeling in my heart when I was told about the bullying. As the protector I immediately wanted to “storm the beaches of Normandy” and rescue them. How do you handle this as a dad? I would sit them down calmly console them in my arms, wipe their tears and tell them how much they are worth. When they calmed down enough to understand and receive what I wanted to tell them, I would give them specific direction on how to reconcile the situation. I would lead them in ways of “walking away” from the bully or redirecting their attention away from the situation or better yet, the infamous cliche of “turning the other cheek”. I would even use scripture to say “We are to forgive someone 70x7” (Matthew 18:22). Thinking this would satisfy the situation I went about my way feeling pretty good as a dad.
I say all of that to say that we must be careful how we instruct them. Especially in matters that are so deeply heart felt and emotionally driven. What happens when it comes knocking at your door as a parent? Whatever you have spoken into your children, they expect the same direction when we as the parents walk through the same experiences. When we walk through matters that break us or try to destroy us, we don’t have to show them that we’re superhuman we just have to show them the supernatural. Im not sure how it runs in your family- but our three watch us with the most intense microscope ever…their hearts. What I do on a daily basis is shaping their automatic responses to situations in their lives.
It’s important to me that I don’t fill them with negative thoughts or harmful words about a situation or person that’s wronged me. When I tell them to treat their “enemies” with respect and love- I have to show the same measure to mine. It’s just as important that they see me cry, get up set, have joy, experience euphoric excitement and most of all seek guidance from God. I don’t want them to have to think of me as a superhuman, but rather completely dependent upon the one that does the supernatural. For me, it’s imperative that I don’t try to hide my emotions from my children. I want them to know that their emotions are there for a reason. I want them to understand that getting upset or feeling hurt is not the end of the world. I want our three children to know that no matter what the situation may be, they have a heavenly father that loves them and cares for them through it all.
I believe that Proverbs 22:6 is more than just verbal instructions to a child. It’s an example displayed through my everyday love and dependence on God. Will their be hard times? Yes! Will we experience joy and heartache at the same time? Possibly. But, at the end of the day- when they become parents; I want them to be able to reflect back on the way I handled every situation with grace, love, and the assurance that no matter how tough or triumphant, God always saw us through the circumstance. That’s what I believe it is to “Walk the Talk”. God Bless!
Share your thoughts. Leave us a comment on situations you’ve had to walk through.